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happy birthday

Happy Birthday to Me!

I LOVE my birthday, it’s my own personal holiday.

Monday marks my 46th year on planet earth. I am excited and pray that I live to see it. Last year I was a little depressed and went through a slight mid life crisis of sorts. Last year was my first birthday without my mom.

Every year she would be my first call. I looked forward to her happy birthday song and ‘girl you getting old’ comments early in the morning. I didn’t realize until recently that the last time my mom called to wish me happy birthday was in 2017. Although she was alive in 2018 I believe (unbeknownst to us) she was too sick to call me. It was a month later that she transitioned. I miss my mommy every day but there is something about my birthday that makes her absence so painful.

2020 has certainly been a year of reflection. I’ve lost a lot but I’ve equally made some gains. Instead of reflecting on what I don’t have, this year I will celebrate life by remembering my mom. I will enjoy a good meal and yummy birthday cake, even if it’s just me dancing the day away, unlike last year I will celebrate (social distanced of course) but a celebration will be had. I LOVE my birthday, it’s my own personal holiday.

As I celebrate I know my Mommy will be smiling down on me…

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