Divorce is a seven letter word that we treat as a four letter curse word in our home. However divorce has become a topic of interest for the 3 little Browns of late, specifically the twins. Not because there is anything going on with us (that man is stuck with me for the rest of his life)!!!
A few nights ago Myles told me that he had a horrible nightmare. He dreamed that my husband and I got a divorce and that we fought over the him and his siblings. He was very upset and rightfully so. My husband and I assured him that we were deeply in love with one another and have no desire to be apart. Then last night Leah and I began reading a Paula Danziger chapter book I, Amber Brown; “Nine-year-old Amber Brown is faced with some real struggles. Her parents are divorced, and it’s the holidays and everything feels different. Her mom’s fiancé wants to celebrate Hanukkah in her house and her father’s move back to New Jersey has created a custody conflict. Amber’s life feels divided between her mom and her dad, and she doesn’t like it. Still, she faces these and other challenges with spirit and humor.”
After reading a couple chapters Leah said “Mommy what is divorce any way? Erick asked “does divorce mean her dad died?, Myles said ” I had a nightmare about divorce”, and so the conversation began. How do I fully explain divorce to 3 children who live in a world wearing rose colored glasses? Both their parents live with them, express affection toward one another in front of them, come home every night, go to church together every Sunday etc. how do I explain that divorce is a very painful decision that grown ups make when they don’t want to be husband and wife anymore. How do I make that make sense, when I’m peppered with questions like, how do you “unmarry” someone?
Divorce is a lesson that I don’t want to teach them. So I summoned the husband upstairs to have him explain.
I know this isn’t a typical twin Tuesday post, where I share the cuteness of my babies but this is a part of the parenting thing that just comes with no instructions…. how do you tackle the tough questions with your children? Please do share.
Until next time…
MrsDeveter 